What components make up your inner identity? Who are you?

The last few years have been difficult for me... I left my family and friends to move to the other side of the world, lost my religion, started a new career, married, gained a step-son, now I have a 6-month old baby......





Although I'm happy I often struggling to remember who I am. I also find it difficult to relate to my old friends...





What mental check-list can a person refer to when trying to 'find' her/himself again?





Thanks.What components make up your inner identity? Who are you?
Throughout my life, I've had a difficult time identifying my sense of ';self.'; Didn't realize it until I was 32 (I'm 40 now). The most important thing to maintaining my sense of self is to talk about how I feel, to myself, and to the people who care about me.





For me, it's frighteningly easy to get caught up in trying to satisfy others, an impulse I don't feel, but that happens so instinctively I don't even recognize it's happening. I tend to become what I think others need or want, and often times, months down the road, I recognize I'm not happy, because i'm not being me.





The key, as I said, is to communicate how I feel to my girlfriend (and I have a shrink right now). Knowing I can say what's on my mind helps me not fall into patterns I don't want to be in. And I also keep a journal that no one reads but me, in which I can say whatever I want. That helps me vent a lot of negativity and confusion that other people won't necessarily understand, or may not even want to hear.





Over the course of the years of finding myself, I've learned that I have a set of values that are pretty constant. Some, like religion, have changed. But what I value really hasn't. And I have learned to recognize when I'm not living up to my values and my beliefs, and I either adjust my behavior, or admit that something I thought I should value (like religion, for example) I don't anymore, and I quit worrying about it.What components make up your inner identity? Who are you?
Who am I, u ask. Well it's not that easy to BE me. That's for sure. But if there was a way to really transfer into someone else's shoes believe me it wud not be that easy ither. Do u understand wat im trying to say.


I mean trying to find urself can be one thing, but being urself iz a whole different story. Catch my drift yet? Neway nice sharing info with u.
Search for something that you had and still have. That is the real you. Do not let your surroundings and events determine your inner identity. Focus more on what is still left inside of you, like how you think. Our perception of other people do change, so that shouldn't determine our identity either.
First persuade Ur self that Ur old friends are just old. And try to adopt Ur new world. And then:


';Love The Life U Live, To Live The Life U Love!';





Miss Interpret, please join me directly through


(naansii at yahoo dot com)
identity is who you are and what your beliefs values and commitements are. usuallly an individual tries to establish an identity separate from their parents and so the detachment process enables the individual to develop a personalised set of beliefs that are uniquely her or his own.and in this process of achieving an identity the individual can experience conflict with parents friends and why, within herself or himself. those individuals who are able to cope with the conflicting identities develop a new sense of self. and those who are not able to cope with this identity crisis are confused, and this can lead to isolation from peers and family and they may lose their identity in the crowd.
Wow, sounds like you are at a tough spot at the moment.





Your self-identity is built from how solid your foundation was when you were growing up (e.g. secure attachments to parent/s; familial and societal beliefs and values...) as well as experiences you had in adolescence that ultimately shaped who you have become (e.g. peer groups; sexual exploration; life lessons; moral/mature behaviour..)....





Now, in your case, I think you need to think about the reasons why you left. Was it for your husband? Was it your choice?? This will help you relocate that time and figure out what was going on there and then, and what you were feeling, and who you were.





Then your best bet would be even talking to family and friends you feel comfortable with, about how you are feeling.





It would also be good to write in a journal all the things you did in your twenties. Who were your friends? Where you went out?? What experiences you had?? Reminisce on the past.





Now that i've written a few suggestions, it has come to me. Ofcourse you are feeling this way. You have gone from a young lady probably with no significant stressors - to a steady loving relationship with a significant other - and now you have 2 children, no family support in your geographical location, and therefore no sense of self because your life has done a complete 360 in a few years!!!! You find it hard to relate with old friends because you are different now!





You are searching for MEANING!


Maybe finding your faith again. Or even placing it somewhere else would be useful. Take on my suggestions, and even engage in new recreational activities (i know your mum with bub - but make some time).





Sorry for blabbing.





Seriously, Good luck!





'Life is a challenge...make it your goal to tackle it';!
Change is the only constant in the universe. As we experience life we learn and grow. We change. Two minutes from now you will not be the same person you are right now. Most of the time the part of you that doesn't appear to change is your inner self. You take your past with you and it helps to shape who and what you become. You may have left your family, but you haven't forgotten them . You probably still remember what you did as a kid, how they treated you, etc. You may have changed how you feel about religion, but you didn't lose religion. Perhaps you even gained a more spiritual outlook on life. I would much rather be spiritual than religious any day.





Starting a new career just means your versatile. I think of all the things I've done. When I was eight I was picking cotton and hoeing peanuts. I raised my brother. I started at 7 years old. Back then we didn't have the luxury or money for baby sitter, so I could cook and clean very young. I worked in a nursing home at 14, passing water, making beds, and feeding people that were not difficult to feed. I worked for awhile in a pharmacy as a tech. I went in the Army at 18 and became a Medic. I too became a mother-a stay at home Mom. Raised two sons. When back to school, got my BS. Worked in sales, customer service, and management for awhile.





Then I got very sick. Couldn't work for awhile. Now, I'm back in the work force again. I went back into medicine. And of course I'm going to school again. That's life. Enjoy it! Write a book.





When you grow and your friends grow in a different direction you grow apart. The secret to a happy marriage is that you and your partner continue to share common ground. If you don't it probably won't last for the long haul.





Oh, and the mental checkup you were talking about. Look at your core values about yourself and the world around you. If they haven't altered that much I wouldn't worry about it.